i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
This house was built for laser tag.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
