Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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