well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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