Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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