ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
