if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
