dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Less talking, more tequila
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
