The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
