There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
