3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
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I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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