we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!