I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.