Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
