Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
