My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
