It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
