Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
