you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
