What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
operation harelip BJ is a go
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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