people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize