Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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