just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
