i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
