Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
