i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
