We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
