i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
