Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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