i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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