White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
