he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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