Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
