Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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