its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize