You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
