Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.

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  (631): It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates. http://tfl.nu/ctme
  Replies (19) Good night (1416) Bad night (5284)
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  (424): View more from California

  I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.

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  (424): I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing. http://tfl.nu/4boy
  Replies (11) Good night (5802) Bad night (1361)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?

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  (203): What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face? http://tfl.nu/dot3
  Replies (57) Good night (4234) Bad night (1797)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him

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  (513): He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him http://tfl.nu/bwdr
  Replies (21) Good night (6758) Bad night (1795)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden

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  (513): he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden http://tfl.nu/xsqd
  Replies (14) Good night (5889) Bad night (1283)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet

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  (719): He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet http://tfl.nu/3sfp
  Replies (7) Good night (2897) Bad night (986)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.

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  (513): I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda. http://tfl.nu/j95t
  Replies (20) Good night (2241) Bad night (986)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?

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  (337): Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think? http://tfl.nu/0xiw
  Replies (9) Good night (990) Bad night (1366)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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  (+61): Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness. http://tfl.nu/4vgt
  Replies (1) Good night (968) Bad night (627)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge

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  (425): I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge http://tfl.nu/ss4f
  Replies (5) Good night (1274) Bad night (486)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?

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  (650): I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened? http://tfl.nu/cgg7
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (432)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself

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  (303): I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself http://tfl.nu/1rx8
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (808)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test

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  (804): He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test http://tfl.nu/c376
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (303)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock

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  (651): Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock http://tfl.nu/apah
  Replies (1) Good night (603) Bad night (282)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony

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  (770): My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony http://tfl.nu/ghvw
  Replies (1) Good night (280) Bad night (204)

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