I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
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He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
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He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer