we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea