what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?