Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt. http://tfl.nu/65bm
  Replies (24) Good night (6348) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life. http://tfl.nu/15a6
  Replies (21) Good night (3674) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/uk9c
  Replies (33) Good night (3410) Bad night (3732)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy. http://tfl.nu/4ar4
  Replies (38) Good night (6008) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat. http://tfl.nu/m2ko
  Replies (9) Good night (5351) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice http://tfl.nu/ufj4
  Replies (7) Good night (2473) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere... http://tfl.nu/u20i
  Replies (6) Good night (2284) Bad night (1840)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner. http://tfl.nu/8r7t
  Replies (14) Good night (1228) Bad night (2880)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right?????? http://tfl.nu/gecs
  Replies (12) Good night (1012) Bad night (1798)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect. http://tfl.nu/ksxu
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you play pong handcuffed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): how do you play pong handcuffed? http://tfl.nu/k407
  Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now. http://tfl.nu/7dy9
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  It's 4 in the afternoon........

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong (1-860): It's 4 in the afternoon........ http://tfl.nu/ra1k
  Replies (2) Good night (870) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated. http://tfl.nu/bowh
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck. http://tfl.nu/ljdy
  Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (342)

Randomize