Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy

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(810): nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy http://tfl.nu/15i2

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(650): View more from California

this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away

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(650): this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away http://tfl.nu/b3o0

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.

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(814): you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving. http://tfl.nu/zfap

Replies (14) Good night (828) Bad night (5380)
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(559): View more from California

I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

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(559): I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day? http://tfl.nu/b9nt

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(703): View more from Virginia

just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.

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(703): just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking. http://tfl.nu/uhxv

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.

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(918): I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/1tot

Replies (16) Good night (3715) Bad night (1053)
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(734): View more from Michigan

He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.

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(734): He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon. http://tfl.nu/88sk

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.

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(617): Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now. http://tfl.nu/a4db

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(207): View more from Maine

I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined

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(207): I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined http://tfl.nu/df5k

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(805): View more from California

I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.

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(805): I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation. http://tfl.nu/mgar

Replies (10) Good night (750) Bad night (1662)
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(309): View more from Illinois

We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.

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(309): We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/cot7

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(615): View more from Tennessee

We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.

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(615): We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND. http://tfl.nu/votz

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(240): View more from Maryland

Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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(240): Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone. http://tfl.nu/49no

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams

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(724): I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams http://tfl.nu/vjrr

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(415): View more from California

Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.

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(415): Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/dkfp

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