Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant

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(774): if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/blow

Replies (10) Good night (1244) Bad night (2910)
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(607): View more from New York

he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him

(313): View more from Michigan

at least he gets points for a creative booty call

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(607): he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him (313): at least he gets points for a creative booty call http://tfl.nu/28qp

Replies (16) Good night (7288) Bad night (569)
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(216): View more from Ohio

wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?

(330): View more from Ohio

yes... and buy you lunch

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(216): wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer? (330): yes... and buy you lunch http://tfl.nu/rnfb

Replies (24) Good night (7965) Bad night (648)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one

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(613): You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one http://tfl.nu/l60l

Replies (5) Good night (4951) Bad night (917)
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(713): View more from Texas

I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic

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(713): I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic http://tfl.nu/5us9

Replies (3) Good night (4037) Bad night (947)
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(216): View more from Ohio

she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

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(216): she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm" http://tfl.nu/ofag

Replies (20) Good night (4594) Bad night (1031)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..

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(309): Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around.. http://tfl.nu/cqm4

Replies (4) Good night (2508) Bad night (928)
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(646): View more from New York

How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog

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(646): How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog http://tfl.nu/iwbb

Replies (5) Good night (669) Bad night (2037)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc

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(314): I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc http://tfl.nu/aic3

Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (990)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape

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(250): im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape http://tfl.nu/bk86

Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (925)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.

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(218): I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now. http://tfl.nu/xd1f

Replies (7) Good night (480) Bad night (1000)
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(805): View more from California

If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived

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(805): If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived http://tfl.nu/668l

Replies (5) Good night (757) Bad night (283)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?

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(732): You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/m097

Replies (2) Good night (695) Bad night (264)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON

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(414): Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON http://tfl.nu/rpwp

Replies (7) Good night (1338) Bad night (290)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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(720): I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left. http://tfl.nu/nrse

Replies (9) Good night (393) Bad night (534)

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