Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....