is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.