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nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
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