Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
