He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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