WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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