i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize