Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
