she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
