Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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