I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My breasts were aching with rage.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
