why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
