I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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