When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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