P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
