Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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