About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
