I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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