this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
