I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
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