We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
