peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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