He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize