So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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