the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
