My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
