I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
